if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
