i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
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