Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
Randomize
