Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
no. you can't hotbox the world.
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Randomize
