he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
Randomize
