She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
Randomize
