Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
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