it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Randomize
