I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Randomize
