This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
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