I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
Randomize
