I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Randomize
