I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
i think my mom watched the whole time
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize