my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
I have feelings that need drinking.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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