I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
