P.S. I can't hear my feet
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
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