She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
OPIZZABONMYDICK
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
My vagina is officially offended.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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