I've blown a few things in my day
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
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