I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize