Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
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