its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
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