I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
I don't think brook has ever known best
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
Houston, we have a blender
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Randomize
