Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
