im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Randomize
