is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
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