u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
The air was thick with penises
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
Randomize
