You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Randomize
