Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
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