you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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