Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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