There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
Randomize
