I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
