Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
