HIV tests are more positive than that guy
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
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