dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
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