my shit smells like andre
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
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