she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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