I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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