I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
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