Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
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just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
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So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
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