Dual....:-)
also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
Randomize
