You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
We are two peas in an std pod
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
Randomize
