just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
I checked into jail on foursquare
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize