First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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