i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Randomize
