Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Randomize
