I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize
