What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
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