so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
Randomize
