Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
Randomize
