Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
Randomize
