Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
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