operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Randomize
