Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
somebody snuck up and got me drunk
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
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