NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
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