Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
I didn't notice because vodka
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
Randomize
