He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
Randomize
