4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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