she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
