I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
Randomize
