Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize
